Realized guys dont like to show their teeth when they're taking pictures, so I tried not to show my teeth too! But I dont look happy at all. Much prefer showing my teeth, eeeeeee :D

This is actually my first blog post in 2012, I feel like doing my new year resolution but I just plain lazy LOL. I just dont feel like uding my brain before college starts. Let me rot few more days, then I cant be a pig anymore since alevels isn't easy for dumb ass like me. Dont worry, Im not gonna emo or cry this year. I mean I wont cry so much like I did last year. Im forever a cry baby! :( Eh wait, that can be one of my resolution, not to cry easily! Challenge accepted.

Things are quite bitchy nowadays, I mean last week of 2011. 

First, I didnt get any calls for the job. 

Second, I didnt get any calls from Inti regarding the scholarship.

Means? NO MONEY!

I was surprised that I wasn't that upset when I know I didnt get any of them. No big deal right? Just try again :D Im so positiveeeeee! I still need part time job since the goverment is not offering me any money anymore. So anyone reads this if you know where offers part time job must tell me about it okay!

Those are actually small cases. The big one is coming! Im going for checkup on sat, zeng zeng. And my mom said the report decides everything, is either I go for jan intake and everything goes with the plan, or Im going for the surgery, rest for half year, and then only go for july intake or form 6. Big decision isn't it? I tell you when my mom said this to me, I straight away ran into my room and cried like a baby till the next morning! Took me so long to accept the fact. But Im fine now, that's the best way I believe :D

Another sad story! My two swimming partner went to ns :( So I have to swim alone for 3 months. 3 monthsssssssssssssss. They probably swim at lumut LOL. And my fat ass pww, I start missing thinking about her already. How are you shit? :( I cant find a nice nice picture of me and you! Blame our gang which none of us has a nice nice camera until we cant camwhore whenever we hang out. Actually we complained about it quite alot of times but still no camera :(

Till then, bye! :D

Typical me

I realized I never talk about my own personality, trying to ignore my bitchy-ness LOL. I think alot of people out there started to beh tahan already, including my family, especially my mom. So, I'm trying to react more LOL.

I got a master in ignoring people. LOL master pulak, something like very pro la ( Omg, I speak like aunty ) Not like I want to ignore people, I ignore people withouy any notice!
Here's an example,
This happened when I was facing my netbook,
Mom: ' Eh you havent bathe, its already 12 '
Me got no reaction.
What do you expect next? Mom yelled at me la duh.
The next and best example, I think all my close friends experienced this, I ignored their texts till they sent me the 2nd msg.
For you know who you are, or whoever experienced that, I sincerely apologized to you guys, eww so formal LOL.
I dont know why I ignored, not in purpose okay. But I just always do that, especially nowadays because I'm entertained by dramassss.
Okay la, I dont know what am I talking now, mental disorder, how to study alevel OMGOMG.

Anyway, the bm undang book is still on my table, cover with dust. Exam should be on next week, which means it has so damn high posibility for me to fail! Nooooooooooooooo. TT

Anyway x2, I created twitter since two weeks ago, so follow me if you want to! I will follow you back cause I want to know you better, andddddd stalk you LOL. If you still dare to follow me, @tracynejeat, follow then! :D

Thats all for now, tata!

Next chapter of life

I can say, December is officially the worst month of the year. So many things happened out of my expectation, I can take the first one, but not the 2nd and 3rd one.

College, people are starting their college in 20 days time. I planned to start college after the results are out. But when the results are out, the intakes are april and july. April is express classes, only genius can do it, and im not. So it's july. July, 6 months later than those who are taking jan intake. And I have to work for 6 months. I really dont know how i will be by that time, I might be losing all my study mood, or forget everything I've learned during high school. How stupid I will be by that time? I dont want to feel stupid at all! I hate the feeling of being stupid. I cant be stupid. Noone expects me to be stupid. So now you should be thinking, go for jan intake then! I dont have that amount of money, neither my dad. And I said I'm not going to use a sen from my dad for my education. So if I did, means I lied for the past few months?

They are telling me that I will have more choices right after the results are out, I might be applying scholarships, or getting even better offers with the results in my hand. Thinking back on those papers, I got no confidence on my results at all. So if my results are bad, and no better offer, not even scholarships? What am I supposed to do? Form 6 will be the only choice, and I will be wearing school uniform again , cheers!

You wont know how depressed I am when dad said he dont have a sen for me to study. I cried immediately but luckily it was dark and I ran to somewhere else. I can never forget that sentence man, it's like repeating in my mind. So guys, appreciate what you have, seriously.

2 more days then I have to decide Jan or July, huge decision to make. Hope I did the right one, I dont have to have any regrets, I cant take any regrets, I got no cash for that.

There will be a xray appointment next week. That x ray is like deciding whether I should do the operation or act like normal ppl. Whether I need to carry a metal rod and 13 screws for the entire life, or jump roll fall like a normal human.

Im gonna stuck back to my korean drama for now, before I cry in front of my bro, shame!

I AM HAPPY!

HEHEHEHEHEHEEEEEE!

I'm abit crazy right now, so you can ignore this if you want. I'm in good mood so I dont mind :D Just checked my results online again, and my physics became A-! Okay I know it isn't that good, have to work harder on science subjects but I just cant make my ass move. I shall die the day before spm, EMO TT

I'm so damn stuck with thesis statement! It's just a sentence but my brain is almost burst because of that.

Urghhhh screw you, thesis!

Seminars back to back

These are taken at the astro tutor tv seminar, I was too lazy to upload them by that time. Actually there's alot more, but I just upload some la :)

Actually i got no idea why am i uploading these old pictures, I wanted to update about the inti seminar today, but we didn't camwhore today! Ah what a waste :( So I have to dig out these pictures since they are taken at seminar too, abit related right?

Soooooo, the seminar was surprisingly okay! I meant physics, not add maths. The add maths lecturer is way too gay and dramatic, which became annoying at the end.

Ohyeah I got to speak with the inti ppl there, he said spm trials result is acceptable for applying scholarships at inti college. For getting full scholarship, 8A+ is needed strictly. But but look through my result, I got 2A+ only! It's not even half of it :( Well, I have to depend on spm result now, and I dont have any confidence for it boooo :(:(

Then I thought of those people who read skema for trials, they can easily get 8A+. And so they can get full scholar isit? THIS IS SO DAMN UNFAIR! Eh hello, if I really want to read the skema before the exam, imagine how easy to get those A+, IT'S JUST MEMORIZING LIKE THE SEJARAH! Even easier than sej please, my god!

TT

I'M SUPER DUPER PISSED OFF NOW

Nothing special, it is because of my results grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

And I'm not speaking in chinese anymore!

Why?

I got a C+ for Chinese. C+ not B not A definately not D.

It's like a cow dung of my result. OMG LOOKS SO UGLYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Not forgetting physics, okay i knew i did badly but still :(

I'M DYING!

Mom is gonna nag till spm starts.

I did mentioned my mom always ask me to sleep instead of study right, but she cares about my results alot, i mean crazy alot.

I cant describe how fierce she is when i tell her my bad result, she even hit me before, CHILD ABUSE!

And just now, I was so nervous cause i decided to check online, and she found out. So she wanted to see so badly, but i refused to let her to see because it was so stressful! I still can feel the pressure just now. It's like heart attack, or even worse than that!

Now she's really pissed off and bang the door for dont know how many times -.-

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!